I learned my whistle humor lesson the hard way, just like Benjamin Franklin

My name is Jessica Weinstock, whistle humor graduate cum laude. So, what EXACTLY is Benjamin Franklin's whistle humor lesson? As he told it, the lesson took place when he was a young boy. Having come into the princely sum of ten cents, he set off happily to spend it.

Unfortunately, he DID spend it all in one place, returning home with a tin whistle and nothing else. At first he thought that was good news as he went about happily tooting his whistle.

Until.

Until he found out the whistle was worth ONE penny--literally, back in those days, what they called a penny whistle. He'd been had, and that day there was no joy in Mudville. Or Pennsylvania. Or wherever it was he lived; I'm not much of a pre-Revolutionary War geography expert, you know.

But I do remember my own version of the whistle lesson.

(To whistle up a great way to stay healthy, click on the whistle!)

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I had turned twenty-three, had my MBA
Years ahead of schedule, I was on my way
Borrowed money from my father to buy my first shop
A little restaurant in town they called the Whistle Stop
I figured I could whip the world, hired a manager named Janet
In twenty years we'd both retire with Whistle Stops around the planet

Ninety days later we were badly disillusioned
We'd been hit with health inspections, bumps, scrapes and two contusions
It turned out the seller sold me garbage wrapped up in pretty looks
When it comes to doing business, there are different kinds of cooks

I'd paid too much for the Whistle and I needed to back out
It helps that when you con a con, you don't have to even shout
We never told my Daddy, but Jan and I produced a plan
Hired a great computer hacker and named the place The Manly Man
Then our hacker built a website and made sure our seller saw
The Manly Man was just the hottest thing inside the current law

Just barely two months later, that seller came to see
What was such a mine of money that he'd let slip down his sleeve
There were New York steaks and lobsters, with the latter in a tank
And handsome men with money helping Janet to the bank
Someone seemingly got careless, and he even got a look
At a balance sheet that showed a fortune, tempting to that lousy crook

Jan is now my partner in a place we call the Never Pay Too Much
For the price you'd pay at Wendy's you can get a decent lunch
I made a thirty percent profit when I sold back the Whistle
I hear that man still runs it though the meat is fat and gristle
We may not beat MacDonald's but I can pay back my Dad
Thank goodness crooks are greedy, always trying to be bad

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Publisher's note: Something tells me that unethical fellow sees very little whistle humor in the whole situation. According to Jessica's partner, Janet, who helped me polish this page, word on the street is that he STILL has not figured out he was conned by the cute young blonde he ripped off in the first place.

My guess is, he would not be likely to admit defeat at the hands of any female, let alone a five-three woman young enough to be his own daughter. Nope, no whistle humor for that guy.

Jan did tell me, also, that Jessica finally told her Dad about the whole thing just last week. She didn't want him finding out through the Internet (i.e. this webpage). Her father reportedly laughed and said, You Go, Girl.

Thanks for reading,

Fred

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