Rodeo typo humor contest announced by Paul Warren

In more than twenty years of spotting rodeo typo humor while announcing at rodeo jackpots, Paul has had fun while admitting he is sort of the Rodney Dangerfield of rodeo announcers: He gets no respect. Why? For one thing, jackpots don't always even HAVE an announcer. For another, he stutters.

More Mel Tillis than Rodney, perhaps.

Actually, I'm pretty sure Paul exaggerates. Cowboys and cowgirls alike are usually almighty appreciative of any announcer, and they're not the sort of folks who look down on a fellow rodeo hand's disabilities. Besides, I'm pretty sure that when Paul and I spoke on the phone, he had a TWINKLE in his voice. Would a rodeo announcer pull my leg?

Nah. Surely not.

In any event, here is Paul's poem describing one of his favorite rodeo typo humor stories. Feel free to take a gander, and then we'll tell you more about the contest.

(To learn the secret to becoming one cool cat of a webmaster, click on the kitty!)

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Out there on the circuit
The wolves may have their ways
Chasing gold buckles, glory and cash
But most of us work weekdays
There are plenty of cowboys who only ride weekends
And cowgirls who chase the barrels down
This poem is the tale of one get-together
About a hundred miles from my home town

At the little shows, unlike on TV
We have to scramble just to make it all go
Sometimes there just isn't enough bucking stock
To even have bull riding in the show
But it seems most ranchers have at least one horse
That can do more than simply crow-hop
So we all pitch in, including me
And the saddle bronc riding never stops

One day in a county where I'd never been
With horses that I'd never seen
A rancher's wife handed me a nice program
With the name of every bucking machine
There was a fine young stallion from the EM ranch
They said could put a rider right down
I much later learned his owner had named him Three Splat
For the number of seconds it took to hit the ground

What I did not know was that the typist they had
Could not read the owner's writing anyway
When she did the program, she guessed and typed Tree Cat
And since the owner couldn't be there that day
It meant nobody knew what the rancher intended
But once a pretty good twister named Lance
Came down hard when the horse spiralled and bended
Tree Cat became a permanent name by pure chance

Now all you riders on the bigtime circuit
Have run into the Tree Cat line
And you know if you hook 'em for the full eight seconds
The Cats will make you money every time
Me, I think it's pretty funny that a typo in a program
Makes it so much better for the riders that ride
If you got beat by Splat it would be plumb humiliating
But with Tree Cat you don't have to lose your pride

They say a rose is a rose by any other name
And I guess I might admit that that is true
But even as the announcer, I can brag about Tree Cat
While Splat sounds like something on my boot
So if you're an English teacher grading essay papers
Or a newspaper reader anywhere
Remember that a typo just might be your best friend
The next time a dyslexic wants to share

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Publisher's note: Not that Paul's rodeo typo humor is quite the same thing, but it did remind me of the greatest saddle bronc known during the early portion of my own riding career. Trails End, 1959 Bucking Horse of the Year, owned by Oral Zumwalt.

The gelding had started out as a simple ranch animal named Dexter but discovered he prererred tossing cowboys on their heads to carrying them around behind cows all day. Dexter most likely would have had an illustrious career with or without his name change...but Trails End is definitely a much cooler name.

The contest: If you click on Return To Publish Your Humor and send us a rodeo typo humor tidbit (poem or not), we'll automatically enter it in our Rodeo Typo Humor Contest--which will end on December 31, 2008. Prizes will be awarded for Four Places unless we get more than twenty submissions, then we'll award Six Places. See? Just like a real rodeo!

What are the prizes? I know, and I'm pretty sure you'll like them...a LOT. Watch our blog to find out what they are, sometime between now and June, 2008!

Thanks for reading,

Fred

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