Thomas Berne suspects potbellied pig humor amounts to his pig doing standup comedy

We know the idea of a potbellied pig doing his own potbellied pig humor is ridiculous. WE do. Thomas, on the other hand, is suspicious. He explains it like this:

Hi, people. I'm a third grade teacher, so I say things like that. Yes, I'm a teacher. But my pet potbellied pig, Petronius, is the creature that seems to be teaching me.That's right, his name is Petronius, better known as Pet. Pet is my pet, and sometimes I pet Pet. How many pets could a pet named Pet...never mind.

I'll get to the point...which of course is pig humor, pig humor, and more pig humor.

Fred asked me if I really believed Pet had a sense of potbellied pig humor. I'm here to state without equivocation: I do. I really do. If I'd ever had any doubt, Gretchen Howard's poem would have removed it. Truthfully, though? Truthfully, I was already convinced. Read on. Maybe you'll be convinced, too.

=================================================================

The Chipmunk Workout
Copyright 2002 by Thomas Berne

We were in the living room of my small home
One day right after school
Petronius flipping channels
That pig was always cool
He'd use his hoof to tap-tap-tap
And then he'd tap some more
Yet when he stopped on the Fitness Channel
We both fell on the floor

A brand new workout expert
Was working out on rocks
Doing stretches, twists and bends
While watching for the fox
We'd never seen this fellow
But then he wasn't human
In fact he was a chipmunk
With fur that he was groomin'

I suppose you'll think I'm crazy
But that chipmunk talked to Pet
Guess I was just a lump of clay
A lowly human yet
No, I don't smoke and I don't drink
I was not hallucinating
But Petronius the pig told jokes
While we were all gyrating

I'm not sure that they spoke English
Yet I understood them just the same
The chip just loved pig humor
While he played the workout game
He made that cheerful chirky sound
We all know chipmunks do
And suggested to my porcine friend
A joke to play, or two

They seemed to think I'd not believe
That a chipmunk in the tube
Could talk to a pig in a living room
I thought they were quite rude
See, Pet is quite suggestible
Although equally he's able
He followed Chip's suggestions
Put his hooves up on the table

Oh, much more happened on that day
Petronius told tales
Each laughed at jokes the other told
And switched respective tails
I know potbellied pig humor
Should have gone over my head
But I grew up on Twilight Zone
I'll just plead ignorant instead

=================================================================

Publisher's note: Potbellied pig humor can be a touchy subject, they tell me. We've heard, at least, that refusing to laugh at a pig's joke can result in the pig leaving you an extra present in the middle of your best carpet. Pig's version of pig humor, you know.

But then, what potbellied pig owner would care about a mere carpet anyway? The pig rules!

Thanks for reading our potbellied pig humor page.

Sincerely,

Fred

Potbellied Pig Humor, Pearls Before Swine Home Return To Publish Your Humor