The paranoid people are the ones who pay my bills

Hi, folks. I'm a clinical psychologist in private practice, and I'm here to present The Paranoid as the heroes and heroines of our country. Remember when your Mom made sure you had on clean underwear, just in case a car ran over you and you had to go to the hospital?

Yup. Paranoid.

Or, remember the bullies who waited just down the block from the schoolyard? No, not to get your lunch money; they'd already taken that much earlier in the day. Maybe just to terrorize you for the fun of it, like the boy second graders who chased my first grader brother clear over a hill after school once, intending to pants him?

Oh, wait. That's stone cold reality, and being fearful of a REAL threat is perfectly sane. Right? Right. Then again, if there had been a bit MORE of that healthy fear prior to 9/11, that might never have happened....

All right. I'll quit wandering. I'm Leah Welles, and I include humor as part and parcel of my treatment of pretty much everyone who comes to me for help. Sure, that can be tricky with the look-over-their-shoulder bunch. They DO assume you're laughing AT THEM. But then I got the idea of having them write related limericks.

Of course, they wouldn't put their own names on them for publication--makes them targets, don't you know? Still, here are a few of the best.

(If you feel sheepish about health supplements prices, click on the sheep!)

=================================================================

An old paranoid farmer of sheep
Desperately needed to get some sleep
Yet he could not rest
Because of that pest
That night-sneaky thief, Little Bo Peep

They are after me I know for sure
But I think that I may have the cure
If I bolt all my doors
To the walls and the floors
Oh wait--they'll come in the windows for sure!

My boss is out to get me next week
But he's sure to go down to defeat
If only I can
Sneak up on the man
By finding the secrets he keeps!

=================================================================

Publisher's note: I can see why putting these poems on paper might help relieve a bit of pressure for the writers, but when it comes to that last one, his (or her) boss has REASON to be paranoid. Oh. Wait. If they really are out to get you....

Thanks for reading,

Fred

Home Return To Contributions For A Free Personal Shopping Mall, Click Here!