Oral chelation was Greek to me

Little did I know that oral chelation really is Greek. That is, the word itself, chelation, comes from a Greek word meaning claw. Chelation, in medicine today, refers to cleaning out your arteries to drastically reduce the likelihood of heart attacks, strokes, and the like.

Does not sound all that humorous, does it? Hey, it wasn't. My name is Chester LeBurke, and I'd been having chest pains, what the medical types call angina. I was worried, and my wife was terrified. Above and beyond caring about me, if my paycheck disappeared via death, she would be in very deep trouble.

One thing led to another. I found out there was something called oral chelation, where you could take a pill and clean out your pipes. That sounded awfully good. Little did I know there was going to be an unexpected downside.

(For oral chelation that makes it safe to shovel all this snow, click on the snow!)

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Oral Chelation Frustration
Copyright 2008 by Chester LeBurke

My honey was worried so we ordered the pills
To clean out my pipes like new
She brought me my coffee and the Sunday paper
And begged me not to overdo
When the package came we were none too sure
But the stuff did just what it claimed
After just three months I was like a new man
Wow, I didn't even feel the same

At first I didn't realize the terrible truth
About my bursting new-found health
Until I figured out my wife knew I was safe
To use for free handyman help
When the snow comes down till it's three feet deep
The shovel flies into my hands
She's got twenty-three items on her Honey Do list
Guess that's what it means to be a healthy man!

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Publisher's note: I was really tickled to see Chester's oral chelation poem turn up in my inbox. For nearly two years now, Pam and I have both been using a similar product to the one he takes. We never thought to write poetic humor on the topic, though.

Thanks for reading,

Fred

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