There Are Countless Ways To NOT Make Money On The Internet

Hey, how can you not make money? Deception? Never! With the nearly infinite number of Get Rich Quick schemes being promoted on the Internet, we mere mortals ought to be able to be at least financially stable by sundown and billionaires by breakfast time. Right?

Yeah, right. There are "guarantees" that if we only follow this method or that procedure or yonder yellow brick road, we never need to worry about money ever, ever again. There is some truth to that, of course: If we follow those flashing neon arrows without being at least a little careful, we won't have to worry...because we'll be in federal prison, having violated a bucketful of laws without even knowing it!

Hey, hakuna matata, no worries. Our prison pen pals assure us that every institution provides plenty of high quality bugs and worms and other creepy crawlies, all we can eat.

Oh. Wait. That's Timon and Pumbaa. I forgot. We average humans need to worry a little about things like the IRS, various website watchdogs, and of course the sensibilities of our target consumers. Bummer.

The poetic humor for this page grew out of my online efforts which began in September, 2007. I knew enough about the World of the Net to avoid spamming people. But I'd never built even one web page and did NOT know enough to gain a paying clientele of happy customers who could keep a roof over our heads and beans on the table. Hence the odyssey; time to "spy out" the real deal....

This Video Shows How Easy It Is To Pick Up A Case Full Of Cash

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I was tired of trucking when I saw the big ad
Appealing to my greed and every weakness I had
It said come on down and we'll teach you the way
To make a ton of money selling stuff on eBay
When I got to the room I took a front row seat
And listened to the man talking straight to me
Twenty-four hours later I'd forked over four grand
For a whole lot of goodies aimed at Internet Land

Part one was the thing about eBay as a place
But I found out I'd rather buy than sell in that particular race
Well, hey, that was just the start, so I built me a site
Lots of folks would buy my stuff and make me rich overnight
Until the truth hit me hard right between my eyes
Everything the web host told me was a pack of pure lies
So I cut my losses short and moved on with a grin
But the next host was no better without traffic coming in

Six months later I had built this poetic humor site
People raved about it but they still didn't buy
But my Daddy didn't teach me it was okay to quit
So I took a training course that had good info in it
One thing led to another and I bought a camcorder
Started sending my own music across that YouTube border
I was sure as sure could be that I'd finally found the deal
Putting out demo songs about a trucker behind a big rig's wheel

Now folks, I'm here to tell you that I'm finally getting wealthy
My bills are all paid and my bank account is healthy
But the song that made it big was the last I'd ever guess
Telling how to not make money and leave your life a mess
Wouldn't you know the video that would make the big score
Would be the dumbest thing I ever wrote in forty years or more
So now I sing a special message on all my video clips
About how to not make money on the Internet unless you make a pile of chips
Even if you cannot see what's inside that block of unsculpted stone
Just keep hammer hitting chisel until you bring the bacon home!

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Publisher's note: As of this writing, I have not yet recorded my first video--but will be doing so before month end (this is March 10). My total online income is averaging about thirty cents a day. That is NOT a complaint, just a "diary entry". I may need to go back to trucking to keep a roof over our heads for a while, cutting my online work back to part time...but success will be found. The only question is when...not if.

It will be interesting (for me at least) to watch and see if my Not Make Money poem turns out to be prophetic.

Thanks for reading,

Fred

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