True, there's no military humor in placing our young adults in harm's way

But that's my point: Military humor is NEEDED. Oh, there are plenty of other potentially deadly careers out there, such as fishing canneries, logging, drilling for oil or gas, bull riding, underground mining, you name it.

ONLY in the military, however, can you fully expect a career in which other people will DEFINITELY be trying to kill you any way they can. That's the job. But wait, there's more!

Most of the time that you are subject to the greatest danger, you are ALSO many miles away from your loved ones, surrounded with others in the same miserable situation. During those times, military humor can keep you from imploding with deadly force.

If you can't laugh, if nothing seems funny, YOU WON'T MAKE IT.

That is not saying a soldier or sailor needs a twisted sense of humor...but he or she definitely needs SOME ability to recognize the ludicrous on contact. Otherwise, the pressure of having people hate you with lethal potential will do serious damage.

Fortunately, there is NO SHORTAGE of military humor in the world.

The following story was told to me by a young U.S. Army Sergeant. I've put it in poem form, in first person as if it were about me (it is not), and left out the names just in case. Let us know if it strikes a chord!

I came out of Montana on a Frontier flight
Right after high school graduation night
A little hung over 'cause you know I drink
Not really ill but kind of on the brink

But none of that mattered; I was Army now
Turned out to be my cup of tea, even mess hall chow
A few years later got me that third stripe
The I met a girl at the bar who was just my type

She was big and strong and beautiful, bigger than me
And I'm a six-footer with muscles up my sleeves
We hit it off great until before I knew
She was Mrs. Me and we were raising kids, too

I'd done my third tour in Iraq a little down the line
I was coming up for Staff, knew I'd ace it just fine
My honey wanted me to study but I needed one beer
Off duty at the bar, she'd never find me here

I'm not saying I got drunk but I was having fun
Somehow my mate had found me, but I wasn't done
Told me it was time to leave, I tried to argue why
I think maybe I got loud from the look in her eye

Right then my darling did what no man ever could
Threw me over her shoulder like a block of wood
Next thing I knew she had me home in bed
Passed out long before she even got the kids fed

Bright and early next morning I had to take the test
I only got through it 'cause I'd had my rest
They told me I'd just made it by the skin of my teeth
One breath above the line; I would have been beneath

The moral of the story is not hard to tell
My sweetie was the reason that I did so well
So if you defend the nation with your very own life
Try making sure you have a backup in your very own wife

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Each and every page in this military humor section is a respectful salute to the men and women of our Armed Forces. Even my own mother, a lifelong pacifist, recognized the value of military service.

It might have helped that she had a Navy veteran husband and an Army veteran son, but it IS the only time I remember.... We were having a philosophical discussion one day, several years before she passed on. When I pointed out that pacifism was fine AS LONG AS there were enough fighters to protect them.

She had to agree.

To all of you out there in uniform, Keep Up The Good Work. To all of you who love a man or woman in uniform, you, too, Keep Up The Good Work...and feel free to copy ANY page on this website--military humor or otherwise--that appeals to you. If we can bring a smile to the faces of those facing the guns, then good for us.

Thanks for reading,

Fred

P.S. It took some searching to sort through the other military humor sites on the Net to find the best, but before we linked to one, we made sure it was the right site. We think you'll like it, too.

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