If Life Gives You Laryngitis, Write A Song Within The Limitations Of Your Larynx

Say what? Laryngitis a humor page title?

Hey, it's like this: After seven months of full time work online had produced a steady income of nearly 30 cents a day, I faced the simple choice of going back to work driving 18-wheelers...or becoming homeless in another month or two. Pretty clear choice when you get right down to it.

So back I went on April 10. The driving I do is NOT those big vans or flatbeds running down the long highway, coast to coast, always on pavement. Oh, I've DONE that in the past, but no. What I do is pull those tubular water tankers, hauling water to drilling rigs. It has advantages:

1. Being shift work, I'm home every morning after working my steady night shift. (Yes, I like nights better, plus they PAY better.)

2. It pays by the hour. Over the road, you're not earning unless you're rolling.

3. It pays a LOT more than highway work.

So, what are the disadvantages? Several, but primarily it is hard, dangerous work. Most of our hours are spent on back mountain dirt roads leading to natural gas drilling locations. Up, down, switchbacks, mud, snow, ice, heavy tire chains, digging ice out of frozen hose fittings with a pocket knife, etc.

By this point in the page, you're likely asking, "So, where's the HUMOR?!"

Oh, there's plenty of that. For today, however, it focuses on laryngitis. I came in on Tuesday morning, April 15 (TAX DAY!), having worn myself out on the job...and also having lost my voice almost completely. I'd set my goal of uploading one additional song video to the Internet each Wednesday, so NOW WHAT?!

Now this: A song written to match my temporarily limited vocal range. To hear the vocal, play the video. To understand the poetic humor, the lyrics are listed in the block BELOW the vid....

IF THIS SONG GOES VIRAL

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If This Song Goes Viral
Copyright 2008 by Fred Baker

Daddy sang bass and then he got laryngitis
Turned the talking over to his younger son Titus
The kid laughed aloud; he thought it was funny
As long as Daddy went to work and gave him iPod money

You hear this song mighty monotone
Got a two-note range on the telephone
Gotta go to work, keep the mortgage paid
Slinging heavy tire chains on a muddy grade

I'm the oldest driver in the company
The bosses know they can depend on me
Until I win a couple of million bucks
Gotta keep driving those water trucks

I've done everything you could ask of a man
To make a legal living any way that I can
You never know what might appeal to the crowd
If this song goes viral, I'll be laughing out loud!

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Publisher's note: As always, we welcome YOUR poetic humor contributions...and you do NOT need to have either laryngitis or music videos to go with them.

Thanks for reading,

Fred

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