Hunting Humor Usually Involves The Unexpected

Our family of five experienced hunting humor more than once while running a ranch six miles west of Drummond, Montana. Most of my growing-up memories are there, and the stories I could tell are legion. Some were dramatic. Some were hilarious. The very best, understandably, were both.

This page's shot of poetic humor involves one of those "best" events. The Colvers lived down the road a bit. Our two families had become close friends. Bruce Colver, four years my junior, was the closest thing to a kid brother I ever had. Tim, his father, was a true friend and confidant to my own father.

That's not even mentioning Edith (the Mom) or the other kids including Nancy and Eunice, but this true hunting humor episode focuses on Tim. He was not a big man on the outside, but internally was another matter. In his younger years, he had been a professional boxer who had fought two of the Top Ten warriors in his weight class. He was neither soft nor weak.

We never knew him to own much in the way of material goods. What he did have was a ready smile, a Golden Heart, and a disinterest in backing down from anybody.

(If you need back pain relief from hunting or just living, click on the elk!)

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Tim Went Out A-Hunting
Copyright 2008 by Fred Baker

Tim went out a-hunting and he knocked him down an elk
Meat enough to feed his family right away
He was reaching for his knife when two fellows wandered up
Their rifles pointing at him clear as day
These men had been around a bit from stories we had heard
Other local folks had often lost a kill
To the lowlife, mean claim jumpers from some other town than ours
Tim backed off and headed down the hill

But their reign of autumn terror was coming to an end
Though they did not know they'd never jump again
When Tim was out of sight he simply circled, climbed and found
A handy place to sight his rifle in
Then he waited till those fools below had finished all the work
And the well-cleaned elk was ready to transport
At which point he laid a hail of lead around their feet and heads
They were last seen running hard off to the North

Tim told the story laughing while his Edith cooked a meal
And the rest of us were quickly laughing, too
It could only have been better if it had been me out there
But Tim, old friend, here's my salute to you!

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Publisher's note: That was not the only time during our long friendship that a Colver man (either Tim or his son, Bruce) educated an aggressor regarding the error of his ways. It was one of the most hilarious, though...especially since those two "claim jumpers" were never again encountered by any Granite County hunter.

Thanks for reading,

Fred

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