Denture humor was the last thing on my mind as I prepared for the karate tournament

As it happened, I was about to discover that denture humor has many facets. Sure, maybe it IS only a subset of dental humor. Denture humor, dental humor, what's the diff? Well...for one thing, appearance.

Yes, good dental work can make your original teeth look a whole lot nicer than they started out. But the right dentures can change your look COMPLETELY for the better, just like the wrong set can leave you looking like Bucky Beaver on steroids.

As I found out while participating in my very first karate tournament.

(Back pain? Insomnia? For duck-a-punch relief, click on the mouthguard!)

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The Chuck Norris Effect
Copyright 2008 by Fred Baker

The year was 1992; I'd had my teeth all pulled
It was now in mid-December, with a mouthguard in my mouth
I was forty-nine years old but just beginning to discover
The beauty of the martial arts at a tournament to the south

My mouthguard was a cheap one; it's all I'd ever use
When the tournament was over, I'd proved that worked for me
Not that I won all my matches; I lost two along the way
But though I had three broken ribs, my face was still punch-free

By the time the day was over I had heard a dozen times
With my dentures and the mouthguard I looked a lot like Chuck Norris
The comparison was nice but it only went so far
For my offense lacked his punch and my defense was more porous

Now, Chuck is not my idol though he does have my respect
When I leave the dentures in their case or go without
It is much better than the alternative; without the dentures in
I look a bit like Newhart with a wrinkle up his snout

Will I evermore be fated to look like someone I'm not?
Is my look determined by the dentures that I use?
I guess so, but when I get so rich that I can do just what I want
I'll get dentures made to make me look just like a taller Tom Cruise!

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Publisher's note: Denture humor? Definitely. It helps to be able to laugh at one's own appearance. The first time we get a denture humor submission from a female, I'll REALLY be impressed.

Thanks for reading,

Fred

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