I've encountered computer virus humor many times

When it came to computer virus humor in the past, it was usually the virus doing the laughing. Fortunately, with my advent as a webmaster, that situation seems to have turned itself around. It seems to be a common view that to succeed in comedy, or as a humorist, one needs a twisted view of reality.

If that's all it takes, I really should qualify.

How about you? If you've spent any time at all online, you have likely needed to deal with a hard drive crash, a frozen screen, and/or any of a jillion other problems instigated by members of the Get-A-Life Club. Do YOU see anything funny about it? No?

Well...I didn't, either, for the longest time. Maybe I'm finally cracking up. Hopefully, the computer virus humor on this page will crack YOU up...at least a little.

(Want a cool place to post your photos? Click on the laptop!)

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Back in former Montana years, when I thought I was retired
I cruised the Internet every day, high speed, I was wired
One day my check-it-out software said I had a backdoor virus
So off we went to the local guru, a man named Anthony Cyrus
He had to scrub the entire drive and reload my key files
As well as upgrade the protection for a few more computer miles
At that time I was not laughing, and I doubt that you would be
Although I learned about growing hothouse tomatoes
When I met hobby gardener Anthony

A few years later on down the road, now living in Colorado
I was driving a truck to keep us fed, a Pete, not an Eldorado
But it seemed to me there simply had to be a better way to make a living
Why not become a webmaster, keyboarding night and day
Receiving as well as giving
Of course I got a lesson in Greek History
You know what I'm talking about
A tricky, sneaky Trojan virus
Shut my entire operation down

In fact, it wound up being such a problem over time
That entire Dell stayed in Computer Hell and I would have been undone
But I bought me a laptop instead, and now when I do my stuff
I kick back in my easy chair with cartoons on
With a snack and my feet propped up
Why is that funny? Well now, think about this
You little hacker, when you're busy just gloating around
Your virus done saved me from a crick in my neck
From carpal tunnel, and from missing Penny Proud
All in all, your silly little germ gave me comfort and freedom
And a laugh to write this poem about!

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Publisher's note: That really is the way it happened. I do most of my online work at night, while my wife is asleep. But because of the virus, I'm not staring at the online monitor in the computer hutch. Instead, I'm kicked back in my chair, elbows on the arms, watching a commercial for The Cheetah Girls.

Brandy and Mr. Whiskers is coming on next. Now, THAT'S funny. When the silver lining turns out to be worth far more than the cloud of gloom itself, that's computer virus humor at its best.

Thanks for reading,

Fred

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