Cell phone humor proves funnier to Elizabeth Becker than to her husband

Hi. I'm Elizabeth, and Fred offered to let me set up my cell phone humor poem (published on this page) in my own words. So I did.

For starters, it helps to know that Norris (my husband) and I are not part of the cell phone generation. My man is taking retirement this year, and I'm not far behind. We grew up at a time when the corner phone booth was still state of the art. Then when they did come out with those first cell phones...whoa!

Remember the size of those things?

Even so, we've had to get with the program, go with the flow. My health has not been good for quite a few years now. Norris gets stuck with all the shopping, picking up the mail, and just about every other trip outside the home except my occasional short drive to the neighborhood Family Dollar store.

Now we're like most couples in America. We both have cell phones, and when he's away from the house, we even turn them on. Most of the time it works out okay. I can call him about something we forgot to put on the grocery list. He can call to tell me he's going to be home in a few minutes so that I can keep the cat that lives in our garage from dashing outside when he opens the garage door.

Most of the time it works out. But not always....

Cell Phone Humor
Copyright 2007 by Elizabeth Becker

My man made a trip to the grocery
One frosty, rockin' New Year's Eve
Except we're a bit old to rock any more
We needed water, cat food, and Aleve

He was headed on back, coming down the hill
I knew when I heard my phone ring
That tiny little bit of today's high tech
Was somewhere on my body, I think

I mean, I knew it was there in the pocket of my coat
Or maybe tucked inside my blue jeans
But do you think for a second I could figure just where?
It was cell phone humor with a zing

By the time I found the thing, I'm not saying where
The worst event that could ever be had come
My phone had kicked over all the way to Voice Mail
And when it comes to Voice Mail I'm really dumb

But what I did not know was the trouble my man
Had encountered when he could not reach me
While driving he was trying to dial to get the land line
And bounced the car off the curb repeatedly

When he finally got through on the landline at last
I was laughing so hard at the scene
He couldn't understand a single word I said
When he got stopped, he was over by thirteen

Still, I couldn't help laughing from the moment that phone
Rang like it was going out of date
I never told Norris it had tickled where it was
Set to ring loudly but to also vibrate

My baby ain't laughing 'cause he's spent a good bit
Getting the car tire fixed
Plus paying that ticket which kind of served him right
We all know that cell phones and driving don't mix!

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Publisher's note: Norris has assured me he now thinks the whole incident is downright hilarious. He even sent me copies of his car repair bill and speeding ticket. It turns out his wife's cell phone humor incident was worth quite a lot. $1,012.93 to be precise.

Thanks for reading,

Fred

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