Blonde jokes and a girl named Candy just seem to go together

Oh, I've heard my share of blonde jokes! My name is Candy Donovan. My birth name, NOT my stage name. It should not have turned out that way, since there aren't really that many blondes in our family. Me, of course. One younger brother, who works in the field of nuclear physics.

And one female cousin who really IS dumb.

If you run an Internet Search with the keyword BLONDE anywhere in the Search box, which one of us shows up? Right. You got it. Pretty much that dumb cousin, who maybe isn't all that dumb, either, although she's kept a collection of more than twenty-three thousand blonde jokes that have been emailed to her over the years. For revenge, maybe.

For a dumb blonde, though, she could have done worse. She married her high school sweetheart. Her husband then made a career out of the U.S. Army, rose to the level of Full Bird Colonel, and finished his service time as a Post Commander. They even love each other, which I've heard is a good thing.

But I digress. This poem is about me!

(To learn how to build a website that shines like the sun, click on the sun!)

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Revenge of the Blonde
Copyright 2008 by Candy Donovan

Ever since I was a little girl, people thought I was dumb
I thought it might be the way my eyes crossed
Or the way I sucked my thumb
The day I found out it was the color of my hair
I shaved my head completely bald and quit wearing dresses
To get a short haired wig to go undercover
I traded off my pretty tresses

I passed as a brown haired boy for two years and one day
By the time my blonde hair grew back in
I knew I had found my way
I let fellows buy me presents of many kinds
Then pretended to be too dumb to know
What they had on their one track minds

Later, when I started acting, my hair color done me good
You're not even expected to know your lines
When you're a blonde in Hollywood
Yes, being blonde has been good to me
I've got three million bucks salted in Swiss banks
Yet the public still thinks that I'm so dumb
I eat nothing but beans and franks

My tall young handsome husband knows
My I.Q. is over one-forty
But he won't tell; he thinks it's swell
To have a smart, rich wife who can support him
I've beaten out redheads for the leading role
In a box office blockbuster or three
Brunettes and brown haired girls lost out
'Cause they underestimated me

My hair still blazes like the rising sun
One thing I know is true
The next time you're laughing at a great blonde joke
The joke might just be on you

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Publisher's note: Candy declined to say whether this sendup of blonde jokes is totally fictional, entirely true, or maybe somewhere in between. She has that right, of course. This is a humor site. It does not have to be factual.

On the other hand, I do have a hunch about it....

Thanks for reading,

Fred

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